I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
