I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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