You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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