Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
