I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
