i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
