Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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