how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
