I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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