That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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