I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Randomize
