Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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