Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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