We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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