Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
