I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
