Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
