Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
