Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
