so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
