I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
