i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I cannot find my penis.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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