I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Someone signed my nipple.
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