i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
