just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i've created a new STD.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
