I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
