and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
