weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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