can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
