she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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