Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
