One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
