Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
