Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
