We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
