Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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