How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
