arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
