I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
