we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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