look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
