U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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