She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
BRING THE BAGELS
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
