you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
