Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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