took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
