My brain says no but my pants say off.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just had sex bonerless
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
