he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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