She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
