i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
