did you get engaged???
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
