i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
