yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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